If you are interested in discovering more about yourself, are curious about the things that you do that cause you suffering, are aware of painful patterns, then Hakomi may be for you. You can become a Hakomi client by working one to one with a Hakomi practitioner, by joining Hakomi Circles and by participating in workshops and the practitioner training. Here’s what you might experience.
A little about the method
Hakomi is based on the idea that much of our everyday suffering is unnecessary and is produced by unconscious beliefs that are irrelevant, untrue or out of date. As a method of assisted self-discover, Hakomi is designed to bring these limiting or wrong ideas into consciousness and to help the client discover new ways of being in the world.
The Hakomi therapist begins a session by moving into a state of mind that we call loving presence. As the relationship with the client develops, the therapist pays very close attention to the way the client expresses him or herself nonverbally. On the basis of those observations, the therapist creates little experiments that are done with the client in a mindful state. Such experiments may evoke reactions, often emotional ones. When reactions are evoked, memories, beliefs and associations may emerge which help clients realize something about themselves. In Hakomi, we are always moving towards a nourishing experience.
What to expect in one to one sessions
This method is not about talking about problems or listening to a story. Your history is written in the way you do things now, your style, your defining characteristics. So, you can expect that the therapist will be looking and listening for these and will bring them to your attention as part of setting up the little experiments in mindfulness that are the core of the work.
The therapist will also be genuinely kind and patient, safe, caring, and non-judgmental. The vulnerability and openness of mindfulness require an extremely safe environment. You can expect the work to bring up emotions. The therapist knows how to be with you when this happens and knows how to offer comfort and help you understand.
What to expect in Hakomi Circles
In Hakomi Circles, you will be taught how to manage your state of mind while being in the presence of others, how to listen with appreciation and compassion. The therapist will create safe space, space where each person will have a full Hakomi session over the course of a day. As you explore your inner world, everyone in the circle will be guided as assistants in the process.
What you need
You need to be willing to be with your own present experience. Your reactions to experiments in mindfulness will be the basis of the work you do. So, you need to be willing to stay focused on your experience. You need to be open to going into mindfulness, which is a calm, inwardly focused state, to simply witness yourself and what happens inside you. You might experience some painful emotions on the way to finding out how to relieve your unnecessary suffering and let go of limiting beliefs and old habitual patterns. You need to be willing to speak about yourself as you feel now. This work is not about asking questions, problem solving or making conversation. The courage you have to be open and honest in looking at yourself are your greatest allies. The rewards will be a deeper understanding of yourself and others, greater pleasure in everyday living, and richer, happier relationships. Self-study can create all that.